


Four Doses, 310ml Each

by SRN (a_b_b_e)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Coffee, F/F, Slice of Life, Weight Gain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-09
Updated: 2014-09-09
Packaged: 2018-02-16 17:35:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2278611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_b_b_e/pseuds/SRN
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A few things happen, then Kanaya drinks the coffee</p>
            </blockquote>





	Four Doses, 310ml Each

Rose winced.  
  
“Is There A Problem?” Kanaya looked up from the rug she was trying to maneuver into place.  
  
“I… was just wondering why trolls seemed to be avoiding this room – and got a flash,” Rose wandered over to a dent in the wall, lightly traced the cracks that radiated from it, “I suppose I’ll get used to things like this, right?”  
  
The meteor had been on its flight from the GREEN SUN for only a week; concerns that supplies of grist would last the 155 to come had finally been allayed after an initial panic. Those aboard had just started to settle down into what Rose had assured them would become their new routines.  
  
“One Can Get Used To A Lot Of Things. Living With Aliens, For Example.”  
  
“And just who is the alien here?”  
  
A moment of uncomfortable silence passed.  
  
“That Is-“  
  
“I-“  
  
Kanaya busied herself with dragging the rug to another corner of the room, while Rose exited the lab in a flash.  
  
  
~  
  
  
“This will be part of a set, I think,” Rose pulled the high-back chair into a corner, and emptied her Captchalogue of the remaining furniture – a table and what appeared to Kanaya to be a wider chair.  
  
“I Am Uncertain That The Wider… chair… Would Be A Match For That Remnant Collector,” the balance between slang and proper names was a hard one to maintain.  
  
“The loveseat and the – table,” she placed her hand on top, “don’t need to match. The loveseat matches the chairs.”  
  
“Wait. Loveseat. Is That Object Utilized in… Human…” The turned away. In former days, one might have noticed pale shades of green making there way into her face. As of late, she didn’t seem to give that reaction any more. Perhaps blood colors had mixed. Perhaps there simply wasn’t enough. “Is That Why it Is That Shade Of Red?”  
  
“That shade of – No. Nonononono. It just seats two people. Can. It doesn’t even have to do that. Arghh…” Rose rurned on her heel to make yet another exit; was easier to flee than explain. She started to make her way to the transportalizer she was stopped by a hand tugging at her sleeve.  
  
“Or, Perhaps, Cuddling?”  
  
A slight smile came to the human’s face, “Perhaps.”  
  
  
~  
  
  
  
“I Do Not Think I’ll Mind sharing my Dreams With You – Occasionally.”  
  
“Your Mom…ther Grub was huge. Huge. I can’t believe she could fly.”  
  
“I Was Smaller At The Time. That Could Have Influenced The Memory. But You Should Have Seen Her Try To Type.”  
  
“Type. On a keyboard?”  
  
“Key-Board. Yes,” The troll awkwardly raised her arms, bent downward at the elbows, and banged pointed fingers on the table, “It Was Hilarious.”  
  
“We need some flowers in here like those. In pots.”  
  
“I Thought The Same. I Do Believe These Captchalogue Cards Will-“  
  
“You got CARDS?”  
  
“That Card-Producing Device Dave Created Proved Useful.”  
  
“Ahhhhh I can’t wait to smell them.”  
  
“I Kept Them More For Visual Aesthetics, But…”  
  
“But?”  
  
“I Can’t Wait To Smell Them Too.”  
  
  
~  
  
  
“I Have Re-Created A Machine From Hummus”  
  
“It’s called-“  
  
“Silence, Alien,” Kanaya’s eyes smiled, “I Have Re-Created A Machine From Hummus, To Emulate The Boiled Extract Of The Coffee Seed.” A large oblong machine was appeared on to the counter beside the table. “Behold Our Great Power!” She bopped a button on the base once.  
  
“Come on, that was an old movie. But seriously? Coffee? I know you pulled some stuff before, but seriously?”  
  
“Yes. Dave Tested It. He Proclaimed it Defecation, And Then Proceeded To Have A Second Serving.”  
  
A ceramic cup dropped, and was filled with a steaming beverage. “Here,” Rose drank the cup under a watchful eye.  
  
“BLUH” went the Human, slightly scalded by the hot liquid, “Oh yeah, this is coffee,” she reverted to tiny sips.  
  
The troll patted her on the shoulder.  
  
Poked.  
  
“Are You Feeling Quite Alright?”  
  
“A little coffee rush, but other than that…”  
  
“Good,” the troll sat down and continued to stare.  
  
“Have you tried it?”  
  
“Yes.”  
  
“Won’t you have a cup?”  
  
“No Thank You.”  
  
Was the Troll staring at the cup, or… Rose lowered the half-emptied cup. No, defiantly at her.  
  
“How Is It?”  
  
“Fine…?”  
  
“Glad You Enjoy It,” Rose though she saw a tinge of regret flashed across the troll’s face.  
  
“Anyways – has anyone tried searching through the grates yet?”  
  
  
~  
  
  
“What’s up with the coffee?”  
  
“What Ever Do You Mean?  
  
“You offer me a cup at every single possible opportunity. And then you look sad about it before i even finish. What’s up with the coffee?”  
  
“It’s nothing. Genuine Human Coffee. For Humans.”  
  
“You said you had a cup.”  
  
“I Sampled The Beverage, Yes.”  
  
“And?”  
  
“Delightful Human Coffee. For Humans.” Kanaya seemed to play with the tongue in her mouth like it was a foreign substance.  
  
Roses’ eyes narrowed, “And you liked it?”  
  
“I Experienced A Minor… allergic reaction.”  
  
The phonograph started buzzing excitedly – their new early warning system. This discussion would have to wait.  
  
  
~

  
  


It was all very simple. Get the troll to drink coffee. Without making the next 127 weeks a nightmare. Keep her from smelling it, keep her from realizing the drink it wasn’t she originally selected.

It did take several attempts to alchemise coffee-scented candles.

  
  


~

  
  


For not recognizing the smell, Kanaya recognized the taste immediately. She sat up bolt-straight and looked somewhere past Rose, who at that moment delicately sipped from a switched mug of… disgustingly pure distilled water. Rose had always preferred water from the sink, not the filtered stuff her mother insisted on providing.

Kanaya forced her own mug-wielding hand back down on the table, “Excuse Me I Must Be – Be Checking,” She stood up and started walking to the transportalizer, neglecting to release both her wrist and the mug. Realizing this, she swerved back, emptied the mug, failed to put it down again, tried to make her exit a second time, before…

_Vriiiipn_

“Rose, I Believe I May Have Tore Something-“

_Virsssss_

Rose lifted a hand to cover whatever inappropriate expression her face was making as Kanaya’s skirt started tearing around her neck. The troll started to rasp something, “Koff… Hee.”

And vision-free. The seer was intrigued. “Of course,” Rose pulled another cup, warmer than the first, out from behind the machine, and bopped the dispensing button for two more. Oh, the troll would have made it over to the corner in another minute, but the sense of relief on Kanaya’s face when seeing the drink was stronger than Rose had yet seen. Kanaya grabbed the mug and poured it down her widened gullet, gargling the last bit.

Her chest expanded with every breath, tongue circling lips. Something shifted with a gurgle, and she took in a gasp of air, “CoffeeCoffeeNo Taste…” Kanaya finally had an insight into the importance of blankets, as Rose was draped one over her swelling top half, “Well, that isn’t part of the experiment.”

which stopped abruptly at a loud ding.

“More?”

“I Really Should No- Yes”

Rose tried to stand up her friend and test subject before retrieving the new pair of mugs – a proposition which failed utterly, with feet no longer providing a flat sole on which to stand. Another mug was quickly downed. Shreds of shirt dragged at her sides, while the troll’s skirt had pushed down encasing only her swelled shins.

“It is interesting how closely you resemble an Earth creature at this moment. Though I suppose a Manatee has it’s head on the other end. Perhaps my Dubious Zoology had a better match.”

Kanaya could just barely flop around. “No… More… Ko…” She was exhausting herself rather quickly.

“Kanaya?” The Human circumnavigated the hardly recognizable swell of flesh, running her hand along stressed gray skin where it met the air – an act which sent chills up her own spine.

The only response was a dazed look.

“Kanaya, you’re going to be fine. It will just take a bit to sleep this off. I’ll just leave this here for you,” Rose placed the fourth mug of coffee on the far end of the transportalizer. “I’ll be back with a new set of clothes in a moment.”

The room disappeared in dark haze, and Rose made quick work of a series of transportalizers, passing by several which already had time to gather dust. She scampered into Kanaya’s temporary hive and, finding only a shirt, grabbed some sewing accoutrements.

But, alas she returned too late. The last transportalizer only gave a buzz of complaint; the route back was blocked by an object too large to transport.


End file.
